pictures

i received a group of pictures last few days from her, so i decided to share some of my latest. afterall, i always taught her to be fair but somehow in terms of pictures, i rarely shared mine.i just put some pics here so that she could take a look later when shes free. she never asked for any though, but i just hope she likes them.

so this is how my room looks like, well part of it. but i mostly spend my time around this area, my bed and my study table.

this is me, getting fatter by the day.. (btw hun, i envy u on your recent skinniness)

this is me in my nike gym sleeveless, haha. the funny thing is, i didn't even go to the gym, so why should i really be having any of such outfit?? the question shall remain unanswered.

ok, wont keep this secret any longer, i've registered myself at a gym nearby last week, only been there once so far, but plan to go regularly by next week. hehe. wish me luck!

this is a pic of me wearing my nerdy glasses. looks weird? i know. sigh.

all these pictures were taken today, so that makes them the latest me. so the conclusion is, the latest me is fatter, looks nerdier (or more nerd, whatever) but perhaps a little lighter in color of the skin. hehe

so thats all for now. i planned to record a video, but somehow my friend's camera ran out of battery. too bad, i know. miss u so much.

ME.. down low

its been a loong time again since i last wrote on my blog, so latest update is i'm having my emergency and traumatology block at the moment. its half way through already and for various reasons i found myself still in the shades of grey. hehe. and yup, i passed all the subjects for the previous semester. all of it! and some are considered very ok too..

about me, im currently very tensed. very down. and very blurr. i've been thinking about all the possible 'what if' situation and it really gets to me this time around. i felt tired very easily nowadays, and sometimes it affected my health too.

i wasnt the best in previous semester, but im surely not among the worse, in fact, i did pretty well and im so proud of myself for doing that. however, (here comes the negativity), i found that people around me especially my parents think that despite not having the basic needs of a student, i still manage to score, which is true, and i dont deny, but that actually gave them the idea that i might not need all the things after all. sigh.

it came to my attention that my mum is also struggling with her work with her boss sentenced to jail for some reason and i am put in the situation that i am forced to stop hoping, all this while i live with hoping for the best possible outcome, it never really paid off and it hurts but its a lot better than having no hope at all. but now, im on the verge of becoming hopeless. im tensed because i know i cant do anything about it other than pray, i cant talk about it to anyone without the risk of people might actually misinterpret me as 'whining' and the worse part is i cant stop thinking about it. at one point, i said im done thinking. and i stop for a while, and by a while i mean a few seconds untill these shitty things start hitting me back inside my head. im tired.

feel slightly better writing this down.
tired.tensed.down.and done. BYE

songs2!!!!

im currently in oncology. learning god knows what.. have at least few more days to steal some hours of guitar playing and the worse part is, i totally ran out of idea what song to learn.. damn it! not now baim, think of a song, think!! think!!! gosh, still couldn't find any..

currently still playing:
1- jason mraz - a beautiful mess
2- rosi golan - hazy

looking for more! more!

when i'm bored, God, i think a lot (it rhymes)

its 2nd raya today, tired for doing nothing.. arghhh.. bored.. how i wish it was me on that plane to malaysia last friday.. unfortunately, i have to spend another raya for the 2nd consecutive time here in makassar..

im having this little weird feeling though, as for who I really am and such.. those sort of things or questions or dilemmas that one usually face when one has too many extra time to think.. im starting to doubt myself, am i really the person i always thought i am..? or am I someone who i once believed i'm not? or is this whole sick mind questions meant to be temporary in nature? or maybe i'm just to scared to admit? i'm questioning the very presence of questions which brought more questions.. sigh.. and heck, i don't have any answer..

its been a wile

it has been quite a long time since i last wrote anything here.. hhhhhh.. tired.. my special sense theory exam is in 2 days, and i am so far, very far away from finishing even a quarter of the things i should study, or more precisely, memorize.. starting to have fever..

i'm currently on ophthalmology, probably if i can make it through all of it and still be alive i'll be proceeding to otorhinolaryngology before wrap all up with dermatology.. seriously, people will have to take months to just cover up one part, but i have to cover up 3, which had been taught all at once in less than a month!! crazy..

can't spend too much time on the blog..however, its nice to finally get to write again.. will be updating on how the exam goes later..

Holiday ---- end!

Happy ramadhan..
i've been around in my hometown for almost 2 months (accumulative), and for a lot of reasons, i think this holiday is just not enough for me..
going back in few days.. so sad.. nak bwat macam mane.. damn it!

anyway, i just hope these last few days would be more than meaningful to me.. the next time i'll be stepping foot on this land (Malaysia), eating its delicious foods and hanging out with my family and my girlfriend would be next year! probably february if not on july. haaaaaa...

goodbye goodtimes, hello BOREDOM and SADNESS and TENSE

acoustic cover 2