Cant sleep..too excited..

I am either extremely excited or pathologically unstable (meaning = sick) because i was supposed to be sleeping by now and yet here i am, blogging.. God knows how much i needed a nice sleep right now.. but all i can think of is the image of me being home, back where i rightfully belong.. its Subuh already.. Adoi...

i started imagining stuffs.. Things to do later.. What to chat with my family... What to eat.. how to convince mama that salt is the lasting she needed right now without making her bombard me with counter-questions such as "habis tu mama tak payah makan ape2 ke?"..haha.. how to tell everybody why am I still fat when my picture showed a slight shrinkage.. (angles, thats why).. how to answer medical-related questions by everyone without being pressured by their high expectations..(thats the hardest part).. how to sleep early because i dont want my family to notice my sleeping disorder because they might be worried.. emmm

As for my beautiful beloved girl.. How to hug my syg soooooo much without making her feel uncomfortable and say "hey, thats it.. too much, enough!".... haha.. how to make her happy by just being home for her.. how to hang out without money because MARA's might be a little late due to chinese new year..(im so freaking out on this one).. how to walk around the shopping mall, holding hands, intimate, hugging n etc from the very first minute or second if possible, because she normally took some time for the momentum to hits.. how to look her in the eyes and without saying a word, reveals the fact that "hey, i really want you, and only you for the rest of my life and that i will love you forever and that this is not an exaggeration and i really3 mean it,"... "i wanna build a family with you, even more, build a life with you... I'm going to study hard, be a successful doctor and make you proud to have me in your life.."... well, thats quite long for eyes to speak for.. normally requires my mouth to send the whole messages.. but i'll try anyway.. haha..

its 5am already.. =)

FINALLY.... Happy!!!!!!!

im going back to malaysia in the matter of hours.. looking forward to see my family and my girl.. miss them so much.. Things to do upon arrival?? no idea.. things to do during the holiday?? no idea too... but im pretty sure i'll plan them soon.. and pretty sure i'll be using all the precious time doing stuffs that i miss doing and be as efficient as possible in enjoying my holiday..

to my family : see you guys soon.. i'll be bringing my stethoscope

 and

 my portable sphygmomanometer, so i guess i'll be doing some vital signs examination and physical examination or assessment to everybody.. haha.. 

to my syg : see you soon.. hope to enjoy this return as much as we possibly can.. miss u soo much.. sorry about the recent emotional lecture on your safety.. 

please know that i love u so much and i really(x1000) care about your safety

 and well-being.. love u.. wait for me..hehe

*look at the pic, ring any bell?? or bells?? hehe =)

Hate criminals

Statistically, the world is highly populated and dominated by people that chooses to characterized themselves as criminals.. they choose to become bad people under certain circumstances in life that frankly, i dont care.. what i care is that why do they have to commit crimes and be ok with it.. 

Life, even to the baddest or the most evil, should has its values.. But to the criminal's mind, life is just another common over-rated things that they never bother to care.. But again, thats them.. not us.. Being different, or simply being human, human with humanity values should make us contradicts those principles of criminals.. where in contradiction to above statement, life supposed to be at our highest priority.. If we are not criminals, we should value life the way it was supposed to be valued and be therefore, highly appreciated.. 

Safety, peace and happiness are among things in life that often be violated by these criminals.. But, the main question is, why should we make ourselves vulnerable to such threat when we know that we could avoid it?  Be careful and dont risk your life especially if you are someone's beloved and that you have people caring about your safety 24/7.. Dont support inhumanity by providing yourself as the victim.. avoid..

hehe

joking!!!!! mane ade x balik. i syg u la... mesti la balik.. but u do owe me an apology tho.. it hurts..

cancel!

i was so tensed and somehow out of my stupid mind, i called my travel agent and cancelled my ticket back home.. i dont feel like going back simply because my return home is not something that she's been waiting for anymore.. I dont know what is wrong with me coming back, but since there is something wrong, even if i dont know what it is, its a good enough reason for me to cancel the whole plan.. HMMM... Adoi2... 

can't wait

She is rather cheerful today.. compared to last night.. she laughs a lot, perhaps smile a lot (im assuming coz i can't see) and she reflects a sunny shiny blossom flower.. i wonder why.. hmmm.. but im so happy when she is happy.. so so extremely happy.. 1 thing that she doesnt know about me, everytime i called her and listening to her laugh of joy, it makes my heart melted like a nice chocolate chip ice-cream on a hot bright day.. haha.. emmm... HAPPY.. listening to her voice and probably share some of her happiness.. it means a lot to me.. it means the whole entire wide world to me.. 

love her so much and can't wait to see her.. i will hug her so tight.. so much.. so much that she sweats all over me.. so much that she will start thinking that i will never let go of her.. so much that if people walk by us, thay will think that we are siamese twins.. so much that it cant be describe.. literally more than any 'so much' ever.. 

hmm. can't wait.. can u hun? =)

What is it?

I don’t do anything wrong… Do I? I tried to be the ultimate best person for her no matter what matters at stake and no matter what calamities might fall upon me, I will always have one thing in mind; to be the best for her… and by far, I have done everything within my capabilities and some might not even be possible, but I still did it for her.. It’s like she hates me for a reason I don’t know and might never do..

I understand what she’s going through and even sometimes out of my spontaneous half-witted behavior, I might have said something that gave her the idea that I don’t understand her, but the truth is I do, very much and she knows it.. I don’t want to enable her on some negative thoughts sometimes which leads me to argue and stand firm on my argument.. but she knows me well that I do understand everything about her..

I just want to feel important.. I just want to feel that I matter so much to her.. she hides so much and despite my best effort to tell her that I know she is hiding something and despite her knowing that I know, she hides anyway.. what does that make me feel? Hmm.. I intended to find out what is wrong with me and fix it as soon as possible.. good luck ME..

tak jadi surprise!!

Life is full of things that u never expected... as tricky as it might sound, life never fail to provide u with surprises... I planned a few for my beloved ones, but to my own revelation, I found myself ignoring the very rule of secret which is to keep them… (Sigh). Lucky for u my dear, now u can enjoy the non-surprising return of me to Malaysia… haha.. see ya soon!!