peace

i've changed a lot lately.. trying to be a better person for everyone and myself.. well, as usual, changes are hard.. its not hard to change but it is hard to be consistent and maintain such changes.. changes in my life require some sort of tuning or adaptation.. which i am still currently figuring out..

well, the best part about changing this time is that i finally felt peace in me.. its weird.. so weird that i cannot describe it in words (i'm going to try anyway).. 

sometimes we feel angry and tired and fed up deep inside us even though such feeling does not manifests itself physically.. theres so many things inside our head that sometime able to affect our judgement and mood.. i used to be a happy cheerful person.. well, of course when im around other people.. i dont want people to see the miserable part of me.. when im alone, i'll be thinking about stuffs that happened to me and usually be tensed about it.. all of the sudden, upon this drastic changes of myself, such feelings do not exist anymore.. but that doesnt mean i dont have problems anymore or that my problems have vanished.. i still have problems and i still think about them all the time, but i felt this feeling that i am now strong enough to handle them emotionally.. my changes make me emotionally stronger and more positive.. haha.. 

i am not sure wether i am happy, but definitely having a very nice feeling..